- Juanita
To Mercedes,
I didn’t know you very well…but you were some of the only blood I have left. When I heard you passed today, I couldn’t handle it. I know that no one deserves to live the life you were given, and I still don’t understand why this happened to you. You were asleep when I first me you, unable to speak, move, and demonstrate any kind of emotion. So for you, I know that with death comes peace. You’re an angel in heaven now, watching over your mother as she watched over you.
I did not cry for you today, I cried for your mother…my aunt. I cried because for the last 18 years you were her child, her friend, her companion…the only constant she had in her life. She spent so many years taking care of you that I’m scared that she doesn’t know what to do without you. I cried for her because the loss she must feel is so momentous, losing you created a void no one will ever be able to feel.
I’m so sorry I wasn’t there Mercedes. I’m so sorry I didn’t spend more time with you. I’m so sorry.
Rest in peace cousin…
With love,
Juanita
I just count all my blessings, with a smile on my face.
Still its hard to find faith…
But if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we’ll be alright,
If you promise never to leave
It just might make me believe…
And I found one.
He’s sweet…he values trust, loyalty, and honesty. He has confidence. He has ambition. He’s deeply religious. He’s intelligent. He loves his family. And we have a lot in common too, he loves traveling like i do, just driving nowhere for hours. The ocean calms him, as it does me. I’ve always been in awe of its power…knowing that this is something that has seen lives of my parents, my grandparents, and their grantparents…something that is so much greater than myself, there’s peace in that. I never told him that, yet one night he texted me and said “I love the beach because man didn’t make that, nor can man control the peace it gives me”. We are so in sync.
He refers to me and him as “us”. He’s thinking about our future together. He’s perfect. He’s all I ever wanted.
So…why is he not doing it for me? Why do I find myself ignoring his calls? His texts? How can he be all of that, and still not be enough for me?
Yes, he’s attractive, and confident, and ambitious…but there’s something about him that’s so off-putting. Sometimes he can be so overly confident that it borders on cocky. He once said that he’s not a man, he’s a king…and that with me by his side, there’s no amount of fortune he couldn’t obtain. And he’s ambitious, but it’s blind ambition. He wants to sign to grandhustle, T.I. is his idol. He sings gospel…and he’s good…but you have to be better than good to make it. I know it’s his dream, but what if it doesn’t work out? A very small percentage of people actually break into the business. I need someone with 2 or 3 back-up plans. I don’t want to support an adult. I don’t want to be stuck working 2 or 3 jobs because you’re too busy going to the studio waiting…praying for your big break. It’s scares me though because I know that even if I didn’t want to…I would. That’s just not the life I want for myself.
He doesn’t even know me, and I don’t know him. I don’t want a relationship right now…and I don’t know him enough yet for that to even be a possibility. I wish he wasn’t trying to move so fast.
To Mr. Harris IV,
This feeling in my gut keeps telling me that you’re not the one for me…
with love,
J.N.W.
“There are three things in life that cannot be regained once lost…a word once it has been said, a moment once it has passed, and time once its been wasted. ” -FB
A year ago today I would have never imagined myself here. It seems like every step forward I take, I get knocked two steps back. But I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Now, I can realize what this past year has done for me. It has made me a stronger person…one who doesn’t give up when something is just out of reach; one who can pick up all of the shattered pieces and still have hope for something better. I have become a person who takes pleasure in the little things life offers.
This past year hasn’t always been easy…but it’s been one of the most memorable times of my life. I’ve been able to spend invaluable time with my godson, something that may not have happened otherwise. I’ve had the opportunity to strengthen the relationship with my family and to rebuild a relationship with my sister, something I didn’t think would ever happen. I’ve been able to see my nieces grow up, memories that I’ll cherish forever. I’ve been able to go out on a boat with family and friends and go swimming down a river with my sisters…both things that I never before had the “time” to do. I have a car that is completely paid off and I’m looking into buying an actual house lol. I’ve been to Atlanta, Miami, Daytona, Orlando, etc. I’ve woken up to the ocean at my doorstep and have gone to sleep to the stars sparkling on the water. Yes, I was supposed to be finishing up my first year at Howard right now and living my “dream”. But THIS is my dream too.
I’ve finally realized that it’s true what they say…every dark cloud has a silver lining ♥
I really don’t understand why black “christians” are in an uproar about Obama’s stance on gay marriage. Yes, the bible says that men lying with other men is an abomination. However, it ALSO states that women wearing pants, people eating shrimp, snakes, and four legged animals is also an abomination. Read Leviticus. Read Deuteronomy. Actually see the contradictions and absurdity of these archaic passages. Newsflash…the Bible is not meant to be literally interpreted. Relevant passages are meant to be applied to situations specific to our own lives.
It’s scary how many church-going Christians just scan through the bible though, picking and choosing which “sins” to protest while disregarding the sins that they personally deem acceptable. Using the Bible to oppress a certain group of people and deny citizens their rights has been in use for thousands of years…including when it was used to justify the enslavement of OUR people. Smh. Now we are using it to oppress others? How does that make sense? And FYI…oppression is ALSO an abomination according to the bible. So…if the gays are going to hell…so are you for your judgement, hate, and oppression.
I honestly don’t even understand how this has morphed into a Christian issue. Marriage is a concept present in every corner of the world, and although the practice may vary from culture to culture, the core remains the same. Since when is marriage a purely christian concept? Not only is that notion ignorant and presumptuous, but it is also utterly ridiculous. And since christians do NOT have ownership of the concept of marriage, why is it our place to deny it to others? Marriage is NOT a Christian issue, it is a HUMAN issue.
Who are we to impose a religion (that our SLAVE masters FORCED upon us btw) on others in order to deny them basic human rights?
Prom 2008.
Me, Taniqua, Alyssa, Desiree, Jessica, Bernitha, Liz, and….i dont remember her name lol.
I think Veronica is up there somewhere too. That was a great night.
LOL. I was looking through some old photos and I found these. These were taken in paddyfoote circa 2008 (freshman year). I remember waiting til my roommate left the room to jack her mask. smh. I forgot about this photoshoot lmao #wackness
